Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
