I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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