just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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