if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
