I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
MIDGETS
????
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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