Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
