Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
