Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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