this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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