I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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