thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
