This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
