You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
