I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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