i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
