I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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