so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
