who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
