He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I will be naked everywhere
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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