i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
