I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
