I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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