they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
