On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
