What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
