Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize