My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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