Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
