We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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