yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
