Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
