My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
