So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Found the puke drawer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
