this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
