So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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