my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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