is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize