I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
