Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
