The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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