ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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