yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
