yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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