Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
