idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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