Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
