That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
