I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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