why didn't you poke me back
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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