She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just cropdusted the office
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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