great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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