I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
