Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
