found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
