I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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