I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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